Not a good night. Nothing could have prepared me for how I felt when I woke from surgery. I had, as recommended by the orthodontist and surgeon, googled every YouTube video I could on the subject. I had even watched the actual procedure on YouTube ( which I don't recommend for the faint hearted. I did turn it off half way through! ) I thought I was ready but in hindsight I really don't think you can prepare to feel like you've been hit with a sledge hammer in the face. Too much?? I'm sorry, just trying to give you an accurate description.
I woke up very slowly, drifting in and out. I was however very anxious. This unfortunately was not helping. My entire face was numb. I couldn't move my lips, my tongue. I couldn't swallow and couldn't cough. I was petrified. I felt like my tongue was going to swell up and completely cut off my airway. Originally I thought that I was going to breath through my nose but of course that was now full of blood and proving to be difficult.
The nursing staff were amazing and assured me that everything I was feeling was normal. They were monitoring my air intake which was actually 100 percent, but I was yet to be convinced. I just kept thinking "I will get through this but I am such an idiot for doing this to myself !" I couldn't get past the fact I had made such a silly decision and had consciously done this to myself.
Anyway, feeling nauseous, anxious, upset, in extreme pain, any other emotion you can think of, I was moved out of recovery and into a ward with my very patient and loving husband waiting for me. I just remember seeing his sad eyes.
The trip through the hospital corridors had stirred everything up inside and the next thing, bamm, out comes a spray of blood. It was everywhere. All over my lap, my bed, and probably anyone standing close by. It was strange I wasn't concerned with that happening as I had read that it could be a possibility. Clearing all the blood and gunk that had been accumulating in my stomach actually made me feel better inside. The nausea briefly left and I could breath so much easier. What did concern me was that I had just vomited and my mouth didn't open. Did this mean my jaws were wired shut? The surgeon said that he wouldn't, but I had no other explanation. So of course on came the panic attacks.
At this stage I began writing notes to the nurses. It was the only way I could communicate. If you're having this surgery, remember a note pad and pen. It's an absolute necessity. I asked the nurse if my mouth had been wired shut. She couldn't really open my lips far enough to see inside. She thought that it had been wired shut but now I know she was just looking at my braces.
The nurses allowed my husband to stay so he could keep me calm. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me everything would be ok. I would sleep for about 20 minutes at a time and then wake up struggling to breathe. He was amazing. Right next to me all night just telling me to relax and breathe.
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