"A new day!" I thought. "Thank god last night has passed. It can only get better from here. The pain control is working. The panic attacks are now subsiding and we can all relax a little." I was now able to drink water through a syringe. The ability to swallow and cough had now returned. It's such a small pleasure we take for granted.
My face continued to swell, which was to be expected but now with my nose being blocked and my lips so swollen, breathing was increasingly difficult. I was holding my bottom lip down with 1 finger to enable enough oxygen. Again the nurses assured me I didn't need to do this but I felt like it was the only option.
Having a shower was lovely. I could have sat there all day. I have to admit though, now I was feeling calm I didn't want anything to trigger another anxiety attack so I asked my husband to cover the mirror with a towel. I just didn't want to deal with anything new today. My neck started to show bruising. I could only imagine what my face looked like. We weren't quite sure why my neck was so bruised but it wasn't a pretty site. I looked as though I had been strangled.
My poor husband was completely exhausted and had to go home for a sleep, swapping with my mum to watch over me. It seemed as soon as he walked out the door I began anxiety attacks again. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop the trembling and the sensation of not enough air. Now it was poor mum exhausted from calming me down.
In another hospital, several years prior, I had been left unattended for long periods due to short staff. I was left having panic and anxiety attacks alone not knowing what was happening. Had I known the nursing staff in this hospital were going to be on top of everything, and be there all the time, it would have made a huge difference but I was petrified of being left alone and just assumed all hospitals were the same.
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